
How often do you find yourself comparing your church to the one down the road? What about when you are thinking about the effectiveness of your own ministry? Is there someone else who is always doing it better, a place where congregants seem more excited to be there than they are at your church, or are you jealous that a certain leader never seems to face any resistance?
Take a moment to stop and reflect. How often are you playing the comparison game? What impact is it having? Is it helping you focus on God’s Design for your life and leadership, or might it be causing a state of malaise or inaction?
Is making comparisons always destructive? Not necessarily. After all, we make comparisons because we’re trying to measure something– in this case our church or our ministry– and underlying why we want to measure something is a real need: getting a sense of current reality and tracking how/if it changes. In other words, our tendency toward comparison alerts us to the fact that we think (subconsciously or consciously) something needs to change.
What if, instead of trying to measure up to someone else, you try a different approach to making comparisons? Here are a couple of ways that you can start using comparisons more productively in the change process.
When you find yourself starting to play the comparison game, get curious:
In prayer, ask the Holy Spirit whether your assessment of yourself or others is even accurate. Ask God to help you see what is true.
Is there a pattern for when and how you are making comparisons? What, if anything, does that pattern tell you?
If you find that you are often making comparisons where you don’t measure up…
What do you find attractive or successful about who/what you are comparing yourself to? Why?
Name clearly what feels like it is missing, not working, or not as it should be in your own situation. If this thing was as it should be for you, would it look like the thing you are comparing it to? Why or why not? And, how do you know?
Bring the comparison to others whom you trust. Articulating the comparison to others and then hearing them reflect back what they heard will help you identify the heart of the matter.
Another way to make comparisons more useful is to turn them into part of discernment:
What do you admire about the life and witness of those you are comparing yourself to?
Perhaps you want to formulate some guiding principles related to these.
Give thanks for them, both in prayer and maybe even to the person or church!
What stories or texts in Scripture come to mind when you think of the situation that has sent you into the comparison cycle? What does that help you understand? What might it mean you ought to focus on?
By turning the comparison game from a source of emotional tension to one of creative tension, you can close integrity gaps and become the leader God Designed you to be.
Comentários